A Year Ago Today

So I know no one cares about Les Mis, or these silly ramblings; but writing about it makes me feel a billion times better.

On Saturday, September 27, 2008, I awoke with a very sore throat. Realizing this, I started to cry. I wanted to do an amazing job in the show! People had always known that I performed, but no one had ever seen me with a lead, and I wanted to prove to everyone that I deserved the part I got (there is nothing worse than someone getting a lead who really isn't good enough but the director likes them or someone influential is related to them. I hate it.).

So that morning we went to rehearsal. I looked the ugliest I have probably ever looked. I had on one of my dad's t shirts, I was wearing no make up, and I didn't even brush my hair. Ew. So I went to rehearsal and ran through the show but I didn't sing very intensely.

After rehearsal, the girls in the cast all got together and prepared to ask the boys to the Halloween Dance. This was a super fun idea that Cort and Amy had - a musical cast group! Our goal was to ask each boy in musical who was sixteen or older. And so each girl chose a boy in musical. I asked Zach. Amy took a picture of each of us, and then we decorated the picture of us with a funny sentence or something (example: Becca Cole had a way ugly picture or herself and put "Aticus-Roses are red, violets are blue, this is what I look like....LUCKY YOU!!")and taped it to the mirror of the boy we were asking in the dressing room. We heart attacked the room as well. Then on the front door of the dressing room we put a sign that said "Ain't no boy like a musical boy" (Monson later crossed out boy and put man).

Then I went home and had a blessing from my dad. There were so many things I was nervous for: my voice (my throat had gotten worse throughout the day), my super fast wig change, my super fast costume change (and we are talking only a few measures of music for each change), and especially- I was afraid I wouldn't be convincing. Fantine is such a complicated part, and where other leads (Cosette, or a narrator in Joseph) just have to be good singers, that won't cut it with this role. I have never felt comfortable with my acting, and I really had a hard time with the prostitute scenes. But the blessing calmed me soooo much. I knew that Heavenly Father wanted me to do well, and he would be with me throughout the whole show.

I think I arrived to the school like an hour earlier than I needed to, if anyone was there before me, then it was only Sam. I like to get ready as much as I can at home, and then I like arriving to the theatre very early- even though I'm almost ready. My theory is that if something goes wrong, like a missing costume, I have time to work it out. So I got my mic, set my wig and costumes backstage, and made sure Fantine's bed was made. I was so scared, and I was starting to feel sick to my stomach. I HAD to prove that I was talented. It makes no sense, but I felt like my whole future career rested on Les Mis.

Mandy gave me a rose for opening night, and Laura gave me a bag of starbursts. Truman gave me a note. Lots of people were coming up to me and hugging me and telling me how wonderful I'd be. Although I didn't believe them, it was nice to know that the whole cast was rooting for me.

As I stood behind the curtain about to go on, I realized that I just had to trust the Heavenly Father would help me. And that night I started something that has become habit. I always do it as I walk onto the stage for a performance or an audition. I whisper, "Okay, Heavenly Father, it's all You." It's really weird I know. I hope that is not disrespectful. When I say it I'm saying that I rehearsed and learned everything I could to make the show good, but now it's in His hands.

At the End of the Day went well, and as I Dreamed a Dream came, I got scared again. But I prayed in my head a little, and I was ready to sing it. I did better than I ever had before! The director cried during my song, and after she told me how moving it was. Everything after that went great for me. My costume changes worked out perfectly. It was a great show!

What is really miraculous is that we didn't mess up with the music except for like once. We had only gotten the music two days before. And the whole show is music so if you get lost, it's bad. Most shows have at least a few weeks with the music. Our director had even thought about cancelling the first couple performances because we weren't ready. But we did it! It seriously was a miracle. Our show was great! Heavenly Father was with us that day!

After a billion came up and congratulated me and some people I have always looked up to in the performing world came and talked to me. They thought I was talented, and they are all like amazing! It was so great!

After the show the cast went to Dee's because it is open extremely late. Bad Idea. The manager had a mullet, and instead of being happy that he was actually getting business (almost no one else was there, and about fifty of us were there), he was mad at us for how loud we were. Sam was really funny. He was acting like the father of all of us and was reminding us to be quiet. He was the only one who we would listen to. Since he was Valjean, everyone bowed down to him I guess. Haha. I sat at a table with Breanna, Brianne, Caitlin, Laura, and Haley. We laughed at how no boys wanted to sit with us. Then a bunch of boys came to talk to us. We were so happy! haha

It took about an hour for everyone to pay because seriously the manager was way dumb. (Breanna said (referring to his mullet), "he's all business in front, but NO party in the back).

On the way home (we had six people in Breanna's care that held five people) we saw a policeman. Breanna had been speeding, and we were scared. We dropped Lex off, and then went toward my house. We passed the policeman again and he pulled us over. We were terrified. As it turned out, One of the back lights wasn't working. He gave her a warning and then told us to go home because it was way passed curfew. Good thing we had dropped Lex off! So then we went home and ended a wonderful day.

This was a great day. Everyone was so supportive. I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father was with me during that performance, and during the nine performances to come. And he still is with me through all of my performances. I find that if I acknowledge him in all opportunities I recieve, then I get more wonderful opportunities. When I get cocky and think I'm great, then I don't have as many great opportunities. I'm glad I've learned to rely on Him early in life. He has given me so much!